Renewed optimism.

I don't suck, really I don't! I've slacked so badly the last few months, really since August, that I've been mentally beating myself up for a long time. I would have a great week with working out, but I'd suck horribly at the eating and vise versa. So I decided that I needed to find some motivation, some goals to work towards. Not just weight loss or completing a marathon, but short term goals that really don't have a "big" reward.
If I lost weight, then my pants would fit better and I'd feel better about myself. If I completed a marathon then I'd be very proud and would make sure everyone knew what I did, lol. But I need something else. Something that will get me up at 5:30 a.m. most mornings. Something my tired little brain could grasp and decide it was worthy of getting out of my soft, warm, comfy bed.
What could it be? what would work well enough that I wouldn't have to think about it, just do it? A challenge! I'm a very competetive person. Usually the person I'm competing with has no idea that I'm competing, lol. I'm a pretty shy person and I hate confrontation. So I usually just yell at them in my head and call them names :)
During my half marathon I would pick someone ahead of me that looked to be doing the same pace and I would vow to pass them and not let them pass me. It worked wonders when I was struggling to just keep moving or to keep from passing out :P They probably had no idea how much strength I recieved just by passing them and smiling or saying "hello" all friendly like :)
I decided that I am going to beat my loser self. I will run the planned miles this week and I will lift the planned weights. If I do then I will think of some little reward. If I do not (well, unless I have a great reason) then I will have a harder workout the following week. Worse than was previously planned.
I don't know why the threat of the loser winning works, but it does.
Oh and other good news. I ran the last 1/4 mile of my run at 7 mph and I didn't die! Thats the fastest I've dared go in a long long time. I'm excited to try it again on Wednesday when I have my next short run planned. But I plan on trying it for 1/5 mile instead :)