Saturday, August 12, 2006

Feeling out of control

I'm a creature of habit. I don't enjoy stepping out of my comfort zone, I like my routines and rarely deviate from them. Getting a job this summer has been an experienc. First I had to interview for the job, which I haven't done in years! Then I had to meet all these new people. I get a supervisor position (unofficially, but still) and have to boss people around. That of course comes naturally since I'm bossy :P I start getting into a nice routine at work and then the cook quits so now I get to add grilling to my duties.

I love, love cooking, so I was actually happy to hear I got to cook. But my boss apparently loves to cook as well, so he pushes me aside when he feels like cooking and expects me to just find something else to do. Um...alright I guess. But that throws off my routine, doesn't he know how that affects the rest of my night? sheesh! So I try not to let it get to me, but really, it does! I don't enjoy feeling inadequate, uncapable, stupid. almost childlike, I always feel like he thinks I'm incapable of cooking for 300 people so I should just stand there and pretend to be busy.

Today we have a catered gathering of 600 people. I am supposed to cook for the party and for my regular duties, but I know I'll get pushed aside once again and the order I have created will be thrown out the window. At the end of the night my concession stand will be off an unacceptable amount of money, in part because my routine is gone. I have a hard time remembering what needs to be done if its not in a certain order. My fellow employees are young teenagers and need guidance. I don't want to hear about how easy my stand is to run, how the numbers should match up almost perfectly, how I was saved by the boss since he stepped in and dill "all" the cooking for me.

Then lets add the food challenges for Little Man. For 4 years I've been very diligent about what goes into his mouth. I have cooked from scratch, purchased food ony after speaking with the manufacturer about certain things listed on their ingredients list. I read labels before I buy them and often times before I serve them to Little Man. If we go to someones house for meals, I read the labels there, I ask questions about how it was prepared or if it touched something else he can't have. But he is almost 4.5 years old, its time to see if he has outgrown the allergies so he can lead a normal life, well as normal as he can with me as his mother ;)

Little man has passed his oats challenge and his corn challenge. I haven't tried apricots, soy (except for some derivatives) or shellfish yet because I need some semblence of normal at home right now. He doesn't know what he is missing, so he wont care ;)

Only a few weeks left of work and then I can focus on my school routine instead. I can do it :P


EmLouisa said...

Sounds like the job is not as fun as one would hope. Boo.

Yay for food challenges though! I hope he does FINE with it all, the little man!

sheri said...

You CAN do it! You ARE doing it!

Emily said...

You can totally do it :)

Amber said...

Ditto- you can do it! Summer is almost over ACCKK!! When did that happen?